He sat in front of me.
My sweet, little man – right at my knees.
He melted me.
Just because he is mine.
Just because he is.
Just because.
I marveled how I have
always loved this
sweet little head.
Sometimes when I
hug him, hold him,
it is easy to imagine that
he is an infant again.
The curls of his hair
are the same.
His mocha latte skin,
his sweet spirit
and those deep, brown eyes?
I am undone.
Then and now.
I love when love
catches me off guard.
I wanted to just scoop him up
and squeeze him but it was
not the time or the place.
He humors me when
I want to squeeze him.
He allows me to love on him.
He believes me when I say
I love him.
He runs to my hugs.
He welcomes time with me.
It is a gift to love him and
a gift that he accepts my imperfect,
incomplete love.
God loves me
with a perfect love.
Perfect.
Love.
Completeness resides within it,
wholeness is found inside of it,
the truth about who I am and
the truth of who he is clashes together
and somehow something new and
beautiful is made from it.
And yet.
I walk away from it.
I turn my back.
I say no to perfect love.
I say, ‘I’ve got this’.
I run to everyone, everything
except the one who
loves me best.
Sometimes I give him a hard heart and an obstinate spirit
and he still gives his perfect love.
I love when love
catches me off guard.
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