This post is a continuation of this blog post about walking to the edges and naming the gaps in our lives. If you haven’t read it you might want to read it first and then come back to this post!
In the past, my tendency was to see an edge in the distance and to do a 180 degree turn in the opposite direction. It didn’t matter if going in the other direction was taking me away from where I was supposed to be – the edge is where I am weak, and so the best plan would be to walk away. This tactic only leaves me in mediocre, frustrated that I am where I’ve always been. I’ve discovered there is another way. What I need to do is that walk to the edge, name the gap and then determine the next brave steps necessary to get from where I am to where I am meant to be. The gap is simply an opportunity for growth. This tactic can help me get unstuck and put me in motion – towards what I am meant for.
So… I thought it might be useful to
talk about identifying the edges.
So we can identify gaps.
So we can grow into our potential.
Identify the Gaps
Here’s some examples of pain points:
- the words said or left unsaid by a significant other,
- the non-invite,
- the moment where I freeze and panic because
I don’t know what is next or what to do next,
- when a bias is revealed,
- when you realize you were wrong.
When pain hits –
I retreat.
I go into hiding.
I am challenging myself
to sit on the edge and
see the gap for what it is.
Is this just a painful thing
and the best thing
I can do is walk away?
Or is this a growth opportunity
and the best thing to do
is to sit and be with the pain
and grasp what it is
I need to learn.
Here’s a recent pain point for me.
I’ve struggled more than
usual with loneliness.
Recently, a friend moved away
and I left a job and
started a new job where
there’s just one employee – me.
If I don’t feel like being alone,
I can go to a coffee shop to work
but unless I am planning
to meet someone there,
It will just be me, coffee
and likely, a chocolate croissant.
There’s no steady co-workers
in my line of work.
A couple of weeks ago
on a Sunday night
my husband took the kids
out to dinner so that
I could have some
time to myself.
As I drove to the store
to get fresh ground
Honey Roasted Peanut Butter*
a cloak of lonely settled over my heart.
It tried to take over.
It tried to keep me right where I was.
I could sense a heaviness and grief.
I decided not to hide from it
by filling the void with
turning on the radio, or scrolling
Facebook, Instagram,
or calling a friend.
I decided to sit with it.
This is a growth area for me.
I sat with the pain
and turned to the one who
made my heart.
“I am trying,” I said.
And he met me there in the pain.
When I left the store,
Honey Roasted Peanut Butter*
in hand, I was greeted with a
breath-taking sunset
and I couldn’t take
my eyes off of it –
somehow my heart felt it’s
joy and warmth.
The sunset was my companion
on the drive home.
My heart was still raw
but I sensed I was right
where I needed to be –
sitting on the edge,
ready to grow.
*It deserves the capitals. Trust me. As I wrote about it I had to step away and go get a spoonful.
Is there a pain point in your life right now? Is it one you need to step to the edge and see if it might be an opportunity for growth? Go ahead and sit for a bit with it. Permission Granted.
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