I Want To Be Part of the Change. (But Do I Really?)

 

I say that I want things to change:

I want to love my family better.

This needs to change.

The #metoo stories are heavy on my heart.

This needs to change.

The way our systems benefit some people

and make life really hard for others

is a travesty.

This needs to change.

And I want it all fixed.

I want to be part of that change.

But do I really?

What if being part of the change requires

that I change?

What if change requires

Sacrifice

Vulnerability

Pruning?

Am I still interested?

Are you?

What happens if we say the cost is too high?

Searching for kindling is about capturing

the daily moments and using them to fuel

joy, love and growth.

But I never really consider that there’s a fire.

Yes, I can pursue learning, new adventures

and serving others to fuel hope and love.

But fire is a refiner.

And it is going to burn if we feed it.

I can keep it small and keep the fire

just for myself and my family.

I can be stingy with the kindling.

Or I can let it burn off the selfishness

and allow it to soften my heart

so that I am moved by what moves God.

And then I must move.

I must give.

And then

the fire is not just for me

but is fueling other’s fires.

There’s cords of kindling

stacked up in my heart –

kindling that would be better

burned and refined than

stored in my heart.

Will I sacrifice it for

the sake of change?