Author: Bethany Howard
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I’m struggling to remember
It’s always been true. I am not what I do. I am not the sum of what I check off on the to-do list. I’ve always believed that, even if sometimes I’ve not acted like it. And I am struggling to remember. Here in this time. Here in this space. I am not what I…
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You’re never far
We might be five miles apart, next door, or 2500 miles away from each other. But you’re never far. Distance can’t change what the heart holds. Distance can’t dilute our determination to care for one another well. We will find a way. Distance cannot weaken love. It just doesn’t have that kind of power. Distance…
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See the miracles
The sun shines on my back while the moon’s glow lights up my face. It is still daytime but the moon arrived early. I love it when the moon appears in the sky at the same time as the sun. It’s two miracles at once. The sun to grow life. the moon to light up…
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Not alone
You’re not alone. You’re not alone. And if you are convinced you are – I’m there, too. I may feel raw, unseen, and unsteady. But friend, I am not alone. You are weak from bracing against the assault of the relentless wind but I need you to shift your gaze. Look up. Look up. I’m…
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A lesson from anoles
The flat, preserved anoles in my sister’s door frame make me a little sad. Why didn’t you move, little lizards? Maybe you had hung out in the door frame before and you thought you were safe. Perhaps you didn’t recognize the danger in delay. Maybe you were comfortable. You clearly were with friends so maybe…
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The audacity of blooms
The blooms caught me by surprise. I certainly wasn’t expecting to see them. The fog’s been a bit heavy and recently, it seems, I just see gray. So the flowers snuck up on me. I was shocked at their presence and I wanted to shout, “How dare you bloom in this very gray space?” They…
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Worthy work
This being who you are – who you are meant to be – is not an easy road to walk. And sometimes I think it is supposed to be. And that’s a lie. I believe it is worth the fight. It’s worth wading through the lies, the pain, the grief, the strife and anger to…
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Lies cannot sustain.
Lethargy is in her veins. She is slow to feel, slow to dream, slow to fight. She feels unsure in every space, unsure if she wants to be seen or if she wants to be in the shadows. She delays decisions until they are made for her. Blooming is left to others with more beauty…
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Hush, fear of failure, hush.
My friend invited me to go on a hike on New Year’s Day. I informed her I was not in shape for a hike that she would take and she informed me that she was going for a run on her own prior to the hike. In other words, the hike was her cool down…
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Wear fierce
I got my gray covered yesterday. It was showing up, super sparkly and well, gray. And I’m just not ready for that. My earrings were sitting on the counter so that they were safe from staining color. I asked my hairdresser to please not let me forget them and she said, “Oh, I will!” I…
